Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
