I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
