Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
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