turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
