She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
