Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Even my vagina gasped.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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