Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
