Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Mom said you looked used
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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