so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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