I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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