he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
