Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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