You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
