help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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