he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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