god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
