Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
