saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Never joke about your clitoris.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
