I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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