I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
