he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
