Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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