I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
