I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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