There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
