Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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