Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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