I showed him my bush... on skype.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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