Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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