you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
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