In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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