Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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