He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Randomize
