shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
