I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
