Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
