that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
