i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
