Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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