dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You're a waste of cheezeits
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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