Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
