who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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