i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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