Whoa Z and x make the same sound
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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