Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
