Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
