if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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