do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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