I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
