dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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